So you’ve spent too much time hunting this year

I know you’re out there. Yep, you. You spent to much time in the woods this season. Hunting was hot, but now mama is hotter. Don’t worry, I’m an expert at getting things cooled down since I’ve had a lot of experience in this realm. But don’t get me wrong, we need to panic and do some damage control fast.

Forget the chocolate and flowers. This is a time for some massive damage control. We’re talking about all-out marriage-saving warfare. All-hands-on deck stuff. Pull all stops. This means we’re taking her to Baker City, Oregon, and staying in the historic Geiser Grand Hotel. Sometimes it’s good to get out of town for some new scenery, and the timing is perfect. There are a lot of fun activities going on in Baker City right now — in fact a barrage of marriage-saving events. Below are just a few of the ones that I know of.

  • The historic Geiser Grand has several events planned in December. The hotel’s elves launch the festivities Friday, when guests can expect fresh-baked cookies and cold milk delivered free of charge to their rooms each evening through Dec. 30.
  • Holiday High Tea will be held Saturday and Dec. 22 at 2:30 p.m. The Victorians called it High Tea. Really, it’s a delicious lunch. Inspired by actual historic menus, enjoy an elegant experience with white linen and silver service at a table next to the tall Christmas tree under the stained glass ceiling. The day begins at 2:30 p.m., followed by the historic tour at 3:30 p.m.
  • Christmas Opera is Dec. 18 from 6 to 9 p.m. Embrace the holiday spirit with opera arias, Christmas carols and good cheer from Opera Elect, free of charge with dinner reservations. Enjoy drinks or a meal right next to the Christmas tree in the Palm Court.
  • Sleigh rides are Saturdays starting Dec. 15 from 7:30 to 9:30 p.m. Laugh at Ole Man Winter as you tour the Baker City Historic District. Katy and I did the sleigh ride for a tour of the town a couple of years ago. It was fun.
  • Christmas Feast is on Christmas Day. Start with a crisp green salad, fresh fruit or gourmet, from-scratch soup. Then choose from five wonderful entrees. Then for dessert, choose from extravagant gourmet creations.
  • On Dec. 31, kick off 2019 with a memorable New Year’s Eve dinner in the Palm Court. Reservations are available from 5 to 9 p.m.

The Geiser Grand first opened on Main Street in Baker City in 1889. The New York Times said the Geiser Grand is “something out of a time-machine tale … a sparkling symbol of the gold-mining boom that had enriched this sagebrush-covered corner of eastern Oregon.” The hotel features an exquisite stained-glass ceiling, mahogany detailing and crystal chandeliers — and offers house-made cuisine, luxurious suites and five meeting rooms.

And just in case you can’t handle setting around town, why not go snowshoe the Wallowa and Blue mountains! Great for all ages and athletic condition. No classes needed.

Katy and I did this one year. They have snow shoe rentals at the Geiser, as well as snow park permits, maps and advice. We had a great time. To tell you how cool it is, the National Geographic named this area one of the top five places to cross country in the entire North American continent.

Then on top of all the above, even on a normal weekend, Baker City is a good getaway. The food at the Geiser Grand is great, but there are also a lot of other options, too.

For instance, across the street is a chocolate shop. Alyssa trained to be a chocolatier in — I believe she told me — Belgium. They even have sipping chocolate, which I had never heard of.

Wow, maybe I’m on the wrong career path. I should have gone into the marriage-salvaging business. After taking her to all of the above activities, your woman will be secretly thrilled if you stay in the mountains a little too long again next year, in hopes that you will again overwhelm her with a barrage of spoiling-your-woman activities.

P.S. Now you may just be wondering, did a conniving wife hack into my account and write this article? Or did they all just take up a pool and pay me to write this so you’d spoil your woman? Well, I am suddenly driving a new truck.

Tom Claycomb lives in Idaho and has outdoors columns in newspapers in Alaska, Idaho, Utah, Nevada, Colorado and Louisiana. He also writes for various outdoors magazines and teaches outdoors seminars at stores like Cabela’s, Sportsman’s Warehouse and Bass Pro Shop.

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